I used to like this time of the year. A time when all that newspapers features are look-backs on the past year, in individualized sections. grouped into movies, home, sports etc so we can take stock in a more organized manner. A way of looking back in a nostalgic, oh-man-i-remember-that, laugh-at-ourselves way. It gives you an option: easy and simple. Count your blessings, understand your worldviews, look back on the world on an annual, calendar-year basis. It's reassuring, to know that the media and the hardworking journalists (which now includes two friends) have done it for you: diligently divided the year into the Best and Worst of 2007, subcategoried, ready-with-opinions, for easy digestion.

But then you realize that the packaged look-back was of the world, and not yours. And that's where you have to come in: you are Supposed to look back on your year, think about it, (you dont' necessarily have to come to conclusions), be motivated enough to come up with New Year Resolutions, and then when all that is done, take out your party hats and poppers, and celebrate the New Year.

I think it's terrifying. I don't know if taking stock on a calendar-year basis is the best way actually: for me maybe my 'year' started when i ended my jc life, or started the nS one, or when my hair grew back. And should i sub-divide my year into aspects of family,relationships,art,material purchases. Maybe some people look back on photos, others may look back on the movies that acted as distance-markers for themselves ( when stardust came out it meant i was 3/4 through 2007; the invasion meant august or september). And I actually know of someone who might just do that, considering the number of movies she watches. I don't know how i'm supposed to look back on my year. I don't even have a diary, and it appears blog entries are too sporadic to mean anything. Although they do mark the sporadic and unscheduled moments. And random musings. Ok see let's skip that,

Or if my year should be 'taken-stock' of at all. Isn't life supposed to be one giant flowing stream of what-not, pulling you along? I know its been dragging me along. As I'm stumbling and tumbling. And i think that's where i am right now: lost, but life doesn't spare me, and pulls me by the collar nonetheless, demanding that i herald the new year with everyone else. Nonetheless is such a definitive word to describe life. It messes up, nonetheless. Nonetheless, it's beautiful in its ways. It moves on, nonetheless. Nonetheless, my grammar still sceams for improvement. But,

Nonetheless, have a happy new year

I think i need to live in a tv-drama. where things fall apart for 3 episodes, but are rescued by a series of one-liners. where company arrives when you're alone on a bench by the beach. where emotion is displayed on faces; steel faces show a hint of a smile, eyes narrow in non-pent up anger. where music kicks in from the background: Oasis, The killers, Jem, U2, during a montage of nice moments. and the camera zooms out on a happy end to the episode. where things fall apart for 3 episodes but are rescued by one-liners